indescribable
Cop: Have you been drinking?
Me: I been drankin'
Cop: Surfbort
Me: Surfbort

starllex:

when your mom is yelling at you to do more chores while you’re doing chores and you’re there like 

image

You could follow 5 or 6 blogs

human:

Or just one

batreaux:

you walk over to the chamber of secrets and whisper “i have a crush on my cousin”. the basilisk comes over to you and says “you totally misinterpreted the use of this chamber and also you’re pretty fuckin gross”

zanetheaiden:

zanetheaiden:

date a boy with nice cheek bones

date a boy who has a good taste in clothes

date a boy with a great laugh

date a boy who’s hoodie you can borrow

date a boy with fantastic collarbones

date a boy who smiles constantly

date a boy with arms like damn

image

fat-amy-for-president:

hardener:

person: get off ur high horse

me: image

that is a giraffe. try again.

girrlscout:

deejaybm
worstcats:

Let’s face it this cat is ugly. It’s all glistening and foldy, which are two things I don’t like cats to be.

worstcats:

Let’s face it this cat is ugly. It’s all glistening and foldy, which are two things I don’t like cats to be.

growlithes:

Squidward kept this s*** real